Might Make Me Believe
by LivandElforlife
Summary: Just as Elliot and Olivia are exploring their relationship to new depths, new people come into their lives and threaten to destroy the stable relationship they've so deseperately hung on to for all these years. HIATUS
1. Gentlemanism

1**A/N: Ok then, this is my brand new story. I've worked very hard on it and I really hope you guys like it. Thanks in advance for all of the reviews and thanks to my beta, Sara a.k.a forever is never forever :)**

**Disclaimer: nope ... not mine**

Olivia's eyes fluttered open and she pulled her hands out from under the blankets to rub them as they adjusted to the light. She felt an indescribable, yet completely undeniable, warmth that came from within her that brought a slight smile to her face. She rolled over and was surprised, but not upset, to find Elliot lying in the bed next to her. He was watching her and gently stroking her hair, twirling it between his fingers. "Hey," she said with a smile, her voice not going any higher than a whisper.

"Hey you," he said as he kissed her forehead.

Olivia grinned almost foolishly at the touch of his lips and Elliot leaned down to kiss her soft lips. She felt his warm breath on her lips and inhaled in anticipation of their kiss but just before his lips brushed against hers, a loud beeping noise violently brought Olivia back to reality. It was her alarm clock. Olivia's eyes shot open; she hit the snooze button, and audibly cursed her alarm clock. She looked around the room and realized it was all just a dream, the warmth, the sleep, and more importantly the Elliot. It was all just a cruel figment of her imagination.

She didn't know how long she had been lying there trying as hard as she could to remember any detail, big or small, of the dream until the alarm clock rang again. Olivia groaned, rolled her eyes, and reached over to switch it off. Olivia slowly sat up and stretched while she rubbed her eyes as she tried to fully wake up. She trudged into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and waited for it to get to the perfect temperature. She stripped of her clothes and got in and enjoyed the pulsating stream of water. She let the water cascade down her skin and watched as the water trickled down her curves and as the warmth brought goose bumps to her body.

Her mind began to wander back to the dream with Elliot. She wanted so much to remember anything about the dream, something that could give her a release. The release that she so desperately needed. Olivia tried to ignore the throbbing that had surfaced between her legs but it was pointless. The more she ignored it, the more she felt it. Olivia tried to concentrate on the water and making sure she was getting her entire body wet. _Wet._ She thought. _With Elliot in the shower. His hands roaming all over my body, until finally his fingers slide into my — _

Olivia stopped herself before the thought finished in her mind but it was pointless. Her mind knew where it was going, where it wanted to go and it wasn't about to let her stop it. Olivia couldn't take the throbbing anymore and needed to take care of it. She reached down and slid her fingers into her hot, wet core. She climaxed within a few strokes and her body shuddered as she fell backwards against the shower wall.

Olivia stood slumped against the wall, the water running over her body, for several minutes. Finally, Olivia reached for the strawberry body wash and her new body sponge and quickly lathered it up. She kept her mind off of everything that could even remotely lead to Elliot, which would, in turn, lead to a repeat performance. She focused her thoughts and her eyes onto the tile that was in front of her. She focused on the color, the texture, and the water running down them, anything to keep her mind off of her dream. Olivia quickly washed her hair, turned the shower off, and stepped out as she wrapped herself in a towel.

She walked out into her bedroom and threw together an outfit. It was a regular outfit that she would normally wear to work but today she noticed the pants were fitting just a little bit tighter than they would normally. She made a mental note to start going to the gym again and went on with her regular morning routine. She was halfway done with her makeup when her cell phone rang. She reached over the bed and grabbed it off of the nightstand. It was Elliot.

"Benson." she answered, like she didn't already know who it was.

"Hey Liv, do you need a ride to work?" he offered. "I'm running a little early and I have some time to swing by and get you."

Olivia knew she should say no. She knew she was going to have a hard time keeping her thoughts off of her dream while they were alone in the car. However, in the internal battle of head and heart, her heart won. "Sure."

"Great, I'll be there in ten minutes," he said and hung up.

Olivia groaned as she sprawled out on the bed and sighed. She shook the thoughts of Elliot's hands on her during the ride to work, got up, and finished her makeup. Sooner than she expected, the doorbell rang. Her heart jumped to her chest and she scolded herself. _It's only Elliot. The same Elliot I see every single day. _She thought to herself as she took a deep breath and opened the door. "Hey."

"Hi. I'm a little early, I hope that's ok," he said, as he walked into her apartment.

"Yeah, it's ok. I just have a couple of things left to do," she said, trying to make it seem nonchalant.

Olivia motioned to the couch as she walked into her bedroom to put her makeup back and turn off all the lights. Before she walked out of the room, she looked down at her dresser. There was a bottle of perfume that Casey had given Olivia for her birthday and Casey swore that it attracted men. Olivia's mind was telling her it was a bad idea but today, her heart was winning all the battles. She reached over and sprayed some on herself and walked out of the bedroom. "Ready?" he asked as he stood up from his spot on her couch.

"Ready." she replied as she grabbed her gun, badge, and keys.

They walked out of her apartment and to the car in silence. Elliot gave her a 'once-over' when she wasn't looking, knowing that she would kill him, and noticed that her pants looked tighter. He wondered why he never noticed how good she looked with a little weight on her. As she walked past him to get into the car, he caught a whiff of something. _Is that perfume? _Elliot thought as he got in the car. _Olivia never wears perfume, does she? _Elliot shook the thoughts out of his mind and focused on driving. Olivia didn't know what to say either. All she could do was picture him lying naked next to her. She was mad at herself for waking up at the exact time he was about to kiss her. She wished she could remember anything about the night before in her dream. Just one part, any part. "Olivia, are you ok?"

She soon was brought back to reality by her partner who now had his hand on her shoulder. She tried to keep her mind off of the warmth that was radiating from his hand. All it did was remind her of her dream. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I just told you I was going to grow a mohawk and you said 'Really? That's so great.'" he said, taking his hand off of her shoulder, much to Olivia's relief yet dismay.

"Yeah, sorry. My mind was just somewhere else." she said, silently scolding herself for letting her mind wander.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's nothing to worry about." Olivia said and she hoped her voice sounded nonchalant.

Elliot just nodded. He knew better at this point than to poke his nose into things that really weren't his business when it came to Olivia. He knew she liked her privacy and, as much as he wanted to be let into her world, he respected that. He hated sitting in silence with Olivia unless it was a comfortable silence and today it wasn't. He didn't know what was wrong but he knew something definitely wasn't right. "So, how did you sleep?"

Olivia, once again lost in trying to recreate the memories of the dream, was caught off caught. She stuttered before her brain clearly processed what had been said. "Good, you?"

"Good, good." he replied, wondering why it was feeling like she was giving him the cold shoulder.

Olivia's mind finally let her relive part of her dream. She closed her eyes, hoping to find an object to calm herself, a steaming cup of tea or a nice bubble bath; she just didn't expect that object to be Elliot. She almost gasped aloud when she saw him hovering over her. Her hands ran over his toned chest and suppressed a verbal moan as his, surprisingly soft, lips brushed hers and she leaned up looking for more. He obliged as his tongue brushed across her bottom lip, begging for an entrance. Just as Olivia was about to allow him entrance, she was pulled out of her dream by a horn from the car next to her. She jumped and her eyes shot open, ending the dream for the second time.

She rolled her eyes but tried not to let Elliot see her. She didn't want him to start asking questions and have to listen to his rolling, deep voice saying her name. She was wishing she was in the shower again or at least somewhere she could give herself the release she needed once again.

After what seemed like an eternity to Olivia, they pulled up at the precinct. Olivia got out of the car and walked into the precinct pausing only slightly to wait for Elliot as she got to the door. Elliot looked around to see if there was someone she was trying to avoid but he found no one. He walked into the precinct just as fast as she was, hoping to find some kind of explanation as she took the stairs two at a time. His hopes were dashed when he walked into the squad room and saw that Olivia didn't follow him in. He assumed she went to talk to Casey.

Munch saw him come in first and nodded in his direction. "Hey, where's Olivia?"

Elliot pretended like he hadn't spoken to her. "I don't know. Why? Do you need her?"

Munch shook his head. "No, I just saw her getting out of the car before you but she's still not here and you are."

"You were watching out the window?" Elliot asked, incredulously.

"No, I just happened to look out and I saw her come darting out of the car," Munch replied, as he tried to justify his actions.

Elliot dropped the conversation. He didn't care what Munch saw or didn't see and whether he saw it on purpose or by accident. With all of his rants about the government, most of the people in the precinct hardly listened to him anyway.

Olivia, on the other hand, was in the bathroom trying to brush all the thoughts about Elliot out of her mind once again. This was a useless attempt and she knew it. It was never going to go away. That meant that there would be more dreams like that one and perhaps ones that were even more intense and more vivid. She quickly composed herself and briskly walked out of the bathroom. She sat down at her desk like nothing happened.

Cragen came out of his office several minutes later to tell them they had a case and sent Elliot and Olivia out to the scene. Olivia told Elliot she would drive for a change. She thought if she had something to focus on while on the way to the crime scene her mind wouldn't wander. Elliot wanted to object but he didn't want to get on Olivia's bad side. Olivia turned the radio on to keep the silence of the car from completely driving her insane.

She realized about ten minutes into the drive that her attempts to keep her dream from interfering with her day were completely shot to hell. Olivia was starting to feel bad that she was ignoring Elliot and was trying to avoid him. She was just scared that if she talked to him she would somehow become transparent and he would be able to see all of the sinful thoughts she was thinking about him. She decided that it was time for her to grow up and talk to Elliot just like she normally would. "So, how are the kids?"

Elliot, surprised to hear her voice, looked away from the window quickly. "Good, Maureen is in college so I see her a lot but the rest of them are in Massachusetts with Kathy so I only see them on holidays."

"Do you still talk to them a lot?" Olivia asked. She knew how hard it was being away from his kids but she was trying to make it easier for him by taking files off of his desk when he wasn't looking and doing them for him.

"Yeah," he replied as he nodded. "They call a lot to ask me how I'm doing and to tell me how everything's going there."

"That's good," Olivia said, trying to think of something to say that would make him realize that she was there for him. Before she could think of anything, he spoke.

"How are things going with, um, Greg?" Elliot asked, hoping he got the name of the man she was with correct.

"Actually, I'm not seeing him anymore," Olivia replied.

"Oh wow, I'm sorry," Elliot apologized, hoping that he wasn't bringing up any bad memories. At the same time, however, he was optimistic that they were both single. "When did it happen?"

"About a week ago," Olivia said. "I broke it to him over dinner."

"Well I hope you didn't break his heart too bad," Elliot joked as he playfully elbowed her arm.

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "No, I doubt it. I saw him talking up the waitress ten minutes later."

Elliot shook his head. "Men."

"Look who's talking," Olivia laughed.

"Me?" Elliot exclaimed with a smile. "What have I ever done to make you think I would do something like that to you? Or to anyone?"

Olivia just shrugged. "You're a man, El. All men are the same, trust me I've seen them all."

"You haven't seen me," Elliot replied, standing his ground.

"Sure I have, I see you right no," Olivia said as she pulled up to the crime scene and turned the car off.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he said as they got out of the car and flashed their badges at the uniform. Elliot lifted up the caution tape and let Olivia go under. "See? Would any of the guys you date do that?"

"It's caution tape at a crime scene, El," Olivia said as she smiled up at him and shook her head. "Don't get so high and mighty."

Elliot smiled but dropped the conversation when they came up to Warner. "What do we have?"

"White female, probably in her early twenties, beaten and raped. There are bruises on her inner thighs but no fluids. It looks like she was beaten with this sharp rock," Warner informed them as she walked over to the bloody rock a few feet away from the body.

Olivia and Elliot walked over and inspected the rock. Warner told them she would get back to them as soon as the results were in and they turned to leave. Elliot lifted up the caution tape for Olivia as they left and Olivia laughed at him. "Such a gentleman."

Elliot tried to rush over to open Olivia's door but she ran in front of him and opened it herself. Elliot faked a hurt expression as he jokingly sulked back to the passenger side of the car. "Maybe that's why the men you date are jerks," Elliot joked. "You don't seem to respond well to gentleman-ism."

"Is that even a word?" Olivia laughed as she started the car and pulled away.

"Good change of topic," Elliot chuckled. "And probably not."

"I wasn't trying to change the topic," Olivia grinned. "And I do respond well to 'gentleman-ism', as you put it, but only if it's sincere."

"And you think I wasn't being sincere?" Elliot asked, turning to face her.

"Of course not," She replied. "You're Elliot."

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Olivia said nothing. She just shook her head. _Are we flirting? _Olivia thought as her mind relived the conversation. She knew that the chances of a relationship with Elliot were non-existent but that didn't stop her from thinking about it. Elliot and Olivia spent the rest of the car ride back to the precinct in a comfortable silence. It was a nice change from the morning commute and they both seemed very relaxed.

They pulled up to the precinct and Elliot walked in front of her to hold the door open. Olivia laughed and hit him. "Would you stop already?"

"Nope, not until I make you believe," he said, putting his hand on the small of her back as she walked in.

Olivia's heart began pounding once she felt his hand land on her back. She silently scolded herself, telling herself that Elliot was just a friend and he didn't think of her like that. "Believe in what?"

"That there are some pretty decent guys out there," Elliot replied. "Not all of us are corrupted."

Elliot leaned over her to push the button for the elevator and Olivia couldn't breathe. Once the bell dinged to signal that the elevator had arrived, Elliot motioned with his hands for Olivia to go in front of him. Olivia chuckled and walked inside as she shook her head. Elliot pushed the button for their floor and stood side-by-side with Olivia. They stood in silence until they got to their floor. "After you."

Olivia rolled her eyes but smiled as she walked ahead of him. Olivia walked through the doors without saying a word. They looked around and saw that Munch and Fin weren't in the squad room. Olivia sat down and turned on her computer. Elliot, on the other hand, went to brew up a pot of coffee. To Olivia's surprise, he put a cup of tea in front of her when he returned to his desk. "You know what, El?" Olivia said, taking a sip of her tea. "If you keep going at this rate, you just might make me believe."

Cragen's door immediately swung open and they looked up. "Benson, Stabler, my office now."

Olivia made eye contact with Elliot as she got up and walked into his office. They were thinking the same thing everyone else was thinking: What did they do now?

**A/N: Review please :)**


	2. The Agent

1**A/N: sorry for the long delay ... all you need to know is I'm stupid lol thanks to my beta again forever is never forever :) Review pleaseeee :) !**

**Disclaimer: nopee**

Elliot held the door open for Olivia and shut it behind her. She caught his eyes in a silent appreciation and he smiled back. They stood in front of Cragen, who sat at his desk silently flipping through papers, and waited for him to speak. "I have some news for you guys."

His voice was blank. Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other and mirrored each others worried expression. Cragen went on. "The case we caught this morning is a high profile case. Apparently, the woman who was killed was an informant to the FBI and they have reason to believe that she was killed by one of their suspects in an illegal immigration program she was working undercover for."

Elliot and Olivia nodded. They knew what was coming next; he was going to tell them that they were transferring the case to the FBI and they would take it over. However, his next words surprised him. "So, they're sending in one of their detectives to oversee our investigation."

"Why don't they just take over the case?" Elliot asked the most obvious question in the room, shifting uncomfortably from his seat perched on the filing cabinet.

"Well, they don't want to make it obvious that the FBI was involved so they want it treated like a regular rape/homicide." Cragen replied. "She should be here any minute actually."

_She?_ Olivia thought as Cragen dismissed them and she followed Elliot out of the office. Elliot sensed her uneasiness and watched her as she walked over to her desk. She began typing up a report, her fingers hitting the keys a little harder than they normally would. He knew how much she liked being the only woman in the squad and hated when others came in and disrupted that, even if it was only temporary. "Hey Liv, let's go grab some coffee."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He knew she would refuse so he skipped asking her and went straight to telling her. He was already standing next to her before she had time to think of a good enough reason to turn him down. She wanted to be there when the woman came in; she wanted her to know that this was her place and her people. Elliot wanted her to be happy when the woman came in, not sitting there planning ways to kill her and get away with it. He knew Olivia too well.

They walked out of the precinct and, without thinking, Elliot reached down and grabbed her hand, swinging it. Olivia couldn't help but laugh. "What are you doing?"

"Well I had to do something to get you to laugh," Elliot grinned. "You were looking like you were about to kill someone."

Olivia just shook her head and smiled. She realized that their arms weren't swinging anymore but their fingers were still intertwined. She glanced down at their hands and turned her head away to smile. Elliot was watching her the entire time.

Ever since his divorce, he had been wanting to take his relationship with Olivia to the next level. He hesitated for many reasons. One of which being that he knew her pattern of running and didn't want her thinking it was a rebound relationship. It had been two years now since his divorce had been finalized and since Kathy took the kids with her to Massachusetts to live with her sister. Kathy claimed that, even though she wasn't in love with Elliot anymore, everything in New York was a constant reminder of the life they created. She told him that she needed to get away but he needed to understand that she wasn't trying to take their children away from him. Elliot was bitter for months after they left but took a lot of his anger out at the gym, which all of the women noticed.

Olivia pulled her hand away from his to open the door and momentarily reveled in the warmth of her hand. Elliot reached over her to take the door and followed her into the café. They ordered their usual orders and as Olivia was about to walk out the door, Elliot stopped her. "Let's sit for a little while."

Olivia looked at him funnily but agreed, it was nice to get out of the precinct during the day and not be on a case. They grabbed an open table lining the plate glass windows at the front of the store and sat down. There was a silence hanging between them as they both tried to find something to say. "So, looks like you're in the market for another boy toy."

Olivia laughed and took a sip of her tea. "Boy toy? I think I'm a little too old for a boy toy, El."

"Pssh, no one's too old for a boy toy," He joked as he added more sugar to his coffee.

"Jeez El, how much sugar do you need?" Olivia asked incredulously, as the container of sugar of the table, which was full when he picked it up, was almost empty when he put it back down.

"I need to stay alert," He replied, taking a long sip as the steam rose up to his face and made his eyes water.

"There's a difference between alert and jittery," She replied as she stood up. "Come on, let's get back. I want to see who this FBI agent is."

"Play nice," he warned as he stood up and they walked out. "She's here to oversee a case, not become one."

Olivia didn't say anything. She just continued walking; her eyes fixated ahead. She already had the image of the woman in her mind. She couldn't figure out why, but she assumed she was going to be attractive. She pictured a bottle blonde with fake eyelashes and razor sharp wit. She chuckled to herself, the only reason she added the razor sharp wit was because she was an FBI agent, so she had to be smart. "Liv!"

Elliot's voice pulled her out of her thoughts and his arms pulled her out of oncoming traffic. "What were you doing? You could've gotten yourself killed!"

Olivia just shook her head and looked away. "I just wasn't paying attention."

Olivia put the thoughts about the FBI agent in the back of her mind for the sake of her mental and physical safety. Elliot was extra cautious when it came to crossing streets with her for the other two blocks. He knew exactly what she was doing, he didn't need to ask. She was mentally preparing herself for this new woman and trying to size her up in her mind. He knew Olivia and how much she wanted to keep order and familiarity in the squad room, and this certainly wasn't familiar.

He decided to try to lighten her mood and make it somewhat easier on the woman who Olivia viewed as an intruder, "So what about that guy?"

Olivia looked in the direction of his quick gesture and saw a man who was standing on the side of the street unsuccessfully trying to hail down a cab, "What about him?"

"For your boy toy," He laughed. "You're never going to find one if you don't look."

Olivia laughed and shook her head as she threw her, now empty, coffee cup into a trash can as they walked past it. "I already told you, I don't need a boy toy."

"Come on, Liv," He nudged her with his elbow. "You don't have to hide it from me. We're best friends, I should know everything about you."

"Everything?" She challenged, looking up at him with a smirk.

"Yes, everything," He replied with a mirrored smile.

"Well, that's going to take a while," She joked as if he was serious.

"Oh please," He said, pushing her away, jokingly. "Like I don't know everything about you already."

Olivia laughed at him and shook her head. "You don't."

"Tell me one thing I don't know then," He challenged her.

"I'm not allowed to do that," She replied simply as she turned to walk up the stairs to the precinct.

"And why not?" He asked, holding the door open for her and following her inside.

"Because then I'd have to kill you," She grinned.

"I could live with that," He replied as he pushed the button for the elevator. "Or die with that."

"Well I couldn't kill you," She chuckled as they got into the elevator. A long silence hung between them until the elevator dinged.

"And why is that?" Elliot asked the question he had been hesitant to ask during the elevator ride.

"Well," She paused, part for dramatic effect and part to think through what she was actually about to say. She made sure her tone was questionable about whether or not she was serious, just in case. "Because then you would never know ho– ... Who's in my desk?"

Elliot, not looking into the squad room just yet, looked up confused. His eyes focused on a dirty blonde, petite woman sitting in Olivia's desk, looking at the pictures and the papers on her desk. The woman was wearing a short black skirt, a bright red sweater, and platform pumps. Her lipstick matched her shirt and her eyes were a smokey black. His eyes darted to Olivia who was already making a bee-line towards the woman who was still oblivious to her. Almost everyone else in the squad room looked up to see Olivia approaching the woman they had already been introduced to. "Excuse me, Can I help you?"

The woman, obviously not knowing who Olivia was, looked her up and down and returned to looking at the desk in front of her. "No, no you can't."

Olivia's jaw dropped and looked up at Elliot who was cautiously waiting in the wings in case something would break out, which was looking very likely right now. Olivia looked back down at the woman and crossed her arms over her chest and took her stance. "Well then, I'd like you to get away from my desk."

The woman looked up, half-annoyed and half-shocked. She stood up slowly, watching Olivia the entire time. "So, you're the infamous Detective Olivia Benson. Hmm, funny. I thought you'd be taller."

Olivia looked the woman up and down, sizing her up. She advanced towards her desk and before she sat down she looked back at the woman, "Hmm, funny. You're just as much of a bitch as I thought you'd be."

Elliot felt the temperature rise a full ten degrees and took his seat opposite Olivia, watching the two women the entire time. The FBI agent, whose name they had yet to learn, was hovering over Olivia and trying to intimidate her. Naturally, Olivia wasn't even close to being intimidated and went on with her daily routine. The agent's skirt, which grazed her knees and shirt that plummeted in the back, was hardly appropriate for their line of work, but it definitely kept all the men watching.

Before the two women had a chance to go at it again, Cragen opened his door and they all looked up, "Ah, I see you have met my finest detectives."

The woman nodded, "Yes, I have."

"Ok, well now that you all have been introduced, I need you guys to go interview the victim's parents over in Long Island. Jessica, you can tag along with them," Cragen said and handed Olivia a post-it note with the address.

Olivia walked out with Elliot close behind, shooting a worried glance back at Munch and Fin. Once they were out of sight, Fin turned to Munch, "Poor guy, he doesn't stand a chance."

Munch nodded in agreement and chuckled, "Long Island's a long ride, I hope he brought some music."

Olivia opted for the stairs, half-dragging Elliot behind her, when she noticed the woman was in heels that were ridiculously high for a cop, even if she was an FBI agent. She obviously wasn't very high up since she was still being put down into the detective line of work. Olivia smirked a devilish grin as she heard Jessica struggling to keep up with her heels clacking against the concrete.

Olivia took the keys from Elliot and got into the driver's side. Elliot didn't want to embarrass her and say that she shouldn't be the one driving but he tried to communicate with her silently. He caught her eyes and they had a silent argument as Olivia started up the car. She pulled out of the parking space just as Jessica slammed the back door shut. She took off down the street as fast as traffic, and the law, would allow her. When it came to stop lights and red lights, she braked hard and smirked when she heard Jessica thrashing around in the backseat.

Elliot was, unconsciously, gripping to the hem of his pants and creating a large wrinkled patch on each of his thighs. He slowly loosened his hands as he got accustomed to Olivia's harsh driving. They finally pulled up to the parent's home and Olivia jumped out of the car, leaving Elliot with Jessica. Jessica seized this opportunity and rushed over to Elliot as fast as her teetering heels would allow her. "Is she always like this?"

Elliot knew better than to say anything so he just put his hands in his pockets and kept walking. She watched him and smiled, "I'll take that as a yes."

Elliot still said nothing. In his mind, if he said nothing he didn't get in any trouble. It was a tried and proven method that he lived by. As he followed the two women into the parent's home, he felt a headache coming on and knew it was going to be a very long day.


	3. Jessica And The Cribs

**A/N: Hey, hope you guys like this update :) review please !**

"Hi, I'm Detective Olivia Benson," Olivia said routinely, "And this is my partner Detective Stabler. We're here to talk to you about your daughter, Carrie."

"She's dead isn't she?" The woman standing in the doorway asked. She looked as though she had been crying a lot and under her red-rimmed eyes were dark circles.

Olivia looked at Elliot with sympathetic eyes and looked back at the woman. "We're sorry for your loss."

The woman nodded slowly, as if processing the information. Suddenly, a man walked out and pushed the door open slowly, putting his arm around the woman. "She's gone," The woman repeated softly until the man pulled her into his arms and she sobbed softly.

Olivia and Elliot waited a few moments before they spoke, letting the two have their moment. "Do you mind if we come in and ask you a few questions?" Olivia asked softly.

"Of course," The man replied as he turned with the woman still in his arms and ushered them in.

They sat on the cream colored couch in the large but homely living room. The clacking of Jessica's heels on the hardwood floors was the only thing reminding Olivia of the agent that was shadowing her every move. Olivia shifted so she was facing the parents of Carrie. "Mr. and Mrs. Golding, has your daughter been having any problems at school? With friends?"

"Please, call us Mary and Dan," Mary said as Olivia nodded in return. "And no, she's been very happy with school and she's always been good at making friends."

"Has she been seeing anyone?"

"She told me about a boy named Alex that she was seeing," Dan replied, and his hand rubbed up and down Mary's arm. "I got the impression that things were getting serious."

"Do you have a recent picture that we can use in our investigation?" Elliot asked after he noted the several pictures on the wall and the tables surrounding them.

"Yeah," Mary said as she got up and walked out of the living room.

Elliot turned back to Dan, "So, how would you describe your relationship with your daughter?"

"We were very close," Dan replied, his eyes glazing over as he cleared his throat in an attempt to compose himself.

Just then, Mary came back with a picture of Carrie at a party that she claimed was taken several weeks before. The three took the picture with them and told the couple they would be in touch. Olivia, Elliot, and Jessica walked out of the house and Olivia took a look at the picture. "Pretty girl."

Olivia threw the keys to Elliot, "You can drive," She said as she walked over to the passenger side, smirking as she heard Jessica breathe a sigh of relief.

Olivia spent most of the ride looking out the window, trying hard to ignore the conversation Elliot was having with Jessica. "Do you live in Manhattan?" Jessica asked, after a few minutes of silence.

Elliot looked for Olivia's reaction out of the corner of his eye before answering. "Yeah, I do."

Olivia's face was just as passive as it had been before Jessica started talking. To anyone but Elliot, it would have looked like she wasn't paying attention but Elliot knew better. "Oh," Jessica began. "Maybe you can show me around New York sometime, this is my first time being here and I have no idea what to avoid or what's a must-see."

Olivia didn't miss the slight flirty aspect that her voice took on. Elliot nodded slowly, "Sure."

His voice was monotonous but not rude. He didn't want to offend either of the women in the car, even though he was sure it was a useless attempt. Elliot cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted in his seat as he finally pulled up to the precinct. He looked for a parking spot and parallel parked into one. Olivia unbuckled her seatbelt and gathered the papers and the picture while she opened the car door. It was starting to rain and Olivia could hear Jessica cursing under her breath about the rain and her clothes.

Olivia walked closer to the woman, "See, that's why you shouldn't try so hard," Olivia stage whispered. "Well, that and the fact that it's not attractive."

Olivia walked up the stairs in front of the woman who was giving her the filthiest look she could manage. Elliot walked a safe distance behind the two women as they walked, and hobbled, up the stairs. Olivia walked into the precinct and took her seat as she turned on her computer to check her emails. Jessica hobbled in moments later and walked straight into Cragen's office. Elliot came walking in casually, not making eye contact with Olivia as he sat in his chair. Olivia just rolled her eyes and saw that she had a new message from Casey.

**How's the bitch? I heard she was in a skirt and stilettos. I bet she saw a picture of Elliot before flying here.**

Olivia smirked and hit the reply button and began to type back.

**She's terrible. She came in with a mini skirt and a tight red sweater. They weren't even stilettos, they were platform pumps. Lucky for her I like to take the stairs :) You should've seen the way she was flirting with Elliot. She asked him if he could show her around New York some time. **

Olivia proofread for errors and hit send. She got up to grab a cup of coffee before noticing that Munch made the coffee. She announced that she was going on a coffee run and took everyone's orders, turning down Elliot's offer to go with her. As she got into the elevator, she hit the button for Casey's floor and called her as she did. "Novak."

"Hey Case, want to go get some coffee?" Olivia asked as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

"Sure, I'll be up in five minutes," Casey said as Olivia heard papers shuffling in the phone.

"Ok, I'll see you then."

Olivia shut the phone and stood outside Casey's door. She knocked and opened when she heard Casey's voice.

"Olivia? I thought I was coming to meet you," Casey laughed.

"Well, you were but I was already outside your door when I hung up," Olivia replied with a grin.

Casey rolled her eyes but smiled at Olivia and grabbed her purse and turned off her computer. "I got your email," Casey said as she shut the door behind them. "Platform pumps?"

Olivia nodded, "She was practically falling over when we had to go to our victim's parent's house."

"She had to go with you?" Casey asked, her eyebrows rose.

Olivia nodded. "And on the way back all she did was talk to Elliot about New York and how awesome it must be to live here and how he would have to 'show her around New York some time'."

Casey laughed at Olivia as they walked into the café, which Elliot and Olivia were in hours before. "So, do you ...do you think it's safe to leave them both together after that?"

Casey's question puzzled Olivia. It wasn't something she thought about while she was walking out of the squad room. "Of course it is," She replied, hoping her voice sounded confident. "Elliot wouldn't do anything like that. It's completely unprofessional."

Casey scoffed. "Like that ever stopped him from looking at your ass."

"Casey!" Olivia exclaimed, trying to keep a smile from curling on her lips. "He doesn't look at my ass."

"Not while you're looking," Casey retorted. "He's always checking you out, Liv. I swear, you're blind."

"Still, it's completely inappropriate and he's not that kind of person," Olivia said, trying to defend Elliot.

"I thought you said all men are the same," Casey pointed out, with a sly grin on her face.

"They are," Olivia stuttered. "They are."

Casey raised her eyebrows but said no more to Olivia. They walked back to the precinct and said their goodbyes in the elevator. Olivia walked into the squad room with the coffees and noted that neither Elliot nor Jessica was in the squad room. Before she had time to look for them, Cragen came out of his office. "Benson, my office."

Olivia, with her back turned to Cragen, rolled her eyes and grabbed her coffee as she turned to walk into his office. Cragen shut the door behind her and walked around his desk and sat. "I heard you were having some problems with Jessica."

"Problems?" Olivia asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yes, a problem," Cragen repeated, the irritation evident in his voice. "I heard you have some road rage."

"That's just the way I drive," Olivia responded, trying to keep her voice even and monotonous.

"Olivia, don't lie to me," Cragen said as he stood up and walked to the corner of his desk. "Just, behave yourself. It's only for a couple of days."

Olivia lowered her eyes and nodded. "Ok," She said quietly.

"You're dismissed," Cragen said as he turned back to his desk and sat down again.

Olivia walked out and saw that Elliot's iced coffee was still sitting on his desk. She leaned over and grabbed his while putting hers down as she walked up to the cribs, where Munch told her Elliot might be. She heard noises from the cribs and assumed it was Elliot trying to take a nap or work without interruptions. She opened the door quietly, not wanting to alarm him if he was sleeping. She peeked her head in and saw movement near the back of the cribs. She walked in slowly and, as her eyes adjusted to the light, got an eyeful. Elliot was hovering over Jessica, whose shirt was on the floor and whose skirt was pushed up to reveal red lace panties. Elliot's pants were pushed halfway off and his button-up shirt was unbuttoned but not pushed off his arms.

Olivia didn't believe her eyes. She felt a lump in her throat start to well up. Instead of turning around and walking out, pretending like she saw nothing, Olivia opened the top of the iced coffee and poured it over the unsuspecting couple. They screamed and Elliot jumped off of her as Olivia made sure every piece of ice and liquid was out of the cup. "Olivia!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

Olivia's eyes widened and, even in the dark, Elliot saw the rage in her eyes. "What am _I _doing? I should be asking you that!" She screamed as her eyes darted back and forth from Elliot to Jessica.

Jessica's eyes were smug and she made no attempt to cover herself as she watched the two detectives fight. Olivia wanted to hit something, someone but she didn't. Instead, she turned and stormed out of the cribs slamming the door behind her. The whole squad room stopped and looked up to see a pissed off Detective Benson storming down the stairs. She stopped briefly at her desk and grabbed her coffee, keys, gun, badge, and whatever else she could see. Suddenly, a soaked Elliot came running out of the cribs. "Olivia," He yelled at her back as he ran down the stairs. "Wait!"

The cribs door opened a third time and the entire squad room, including Cragen who had come out of his office to see what was going on, turned to see who it was. Jessica, hair wet and shirt on backwards, came lunging over the railing and staring incredulously down at Elliot.

She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when she caught a glimpse of everyone who was watching her. She looked at them, the shock settling in as she tried to think of something to say to get her out of it. Instead, she turned and walked back into the cribs, shutting the door softly as to not draw more unnecessary attention to herself.

Cragen looked around and saw everyone standing around. He was angry with his detectives for making such a scene but, from Olivia's point of view, it was understandable. "Ok, get back to work," He commanded and everyone continued whatever it was they were doing.

Olivia, on the other hand, stormed into Casey's office without knocking and was happy to find her alone. "Olivia!" She exclaimed until she saw her pissed off expression. "What happened?"

"Well," She laughed humorlessly. "Remember when you asked me if I could trust Elliot alone with Jessica?"

Casey nodded slowly.

"Well, I can't." Olivia snapped. "I walked into the cribs to give him the coffee I bought him and found him on top of her in the back of the cribs."

"Well," Casey stuttered. "Maybe it wasn't what it looked like."

Olivia's eyes went darker than black as she turned to face Casey. "Wasn't what it looked like? He was on top of her, she was topless and her skirt was pushed up as far as it needed to be, and he was almost pant-less and shirtless. So tell me, what does that look like to you?"

Casey said nothing. She just nodded and made a mental note to kick Elliot's ass. She sat Olivia down and gave her some candy. It was the only thing she could think of that could momentarily calm her down. Once Olivia seemed calm enough, there was a familiar knock on the door.

**A/N: Review please :) !**


	4. Dean and Texas

1Olivia rolled her eyes at the door and got up to walk out of the side door. Casey stopped her and yelled back at the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Elliot," He almost yelled as Olivia saw his fists resting against the glass on the door.

"What do you need? I'm behind schedule for a hearing," Casey said, turning and shrugging to Olivia.

"Casey," He said, the defeat and realization evident in his voice. "I fucked up."

Casey looked at Olivia with sympathetic eyes but all she got back was a cold stare. She signaled for Olivia to leave quietly through the side door as she walked over to the door where Elliot was leaning. She opened it slowly, checking behind her back to make sure Olivia was out of the room. "What did you do?" She asked once she opened the door.

"Can I come in?"

Casey pretended to be thinking about it and nodded after checking her watch. She stepped back to let him in and took in his appearance. "Why are you wet?"

"Olivia threw coffee at me," He said, looking down to view the damage. He looked up and Casey had the obvious question written all over her face. "Well, she kinda ... walked in on me and ...Jessica."

Casey played dumb. "Doing what?"

"What do you think we were doing?" Elliot asked sharply, causing Casey's eyes to widen at his tone.

"Where?" She asked, her voice was just above a whisper and she cleared it as she tried to get her composure back.

"The cribs," It was Elliot's turn to whisper. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes with his palms.

"Why?" Casey asked, her lawyer voice taking control now.

"I ...I don't know. It was ... it all happened so fast," He said as he stood up and paced while he rambled on. "One second we were going over papers ...and we were talking about New York and next thing I know I was on top of her and her shirt was on the ground and my pants were —"

"Ok, I get the picture," Casey interrupted. She stood up from behind her desk and walked around and perched on the corner. "Why did you come here?"

Elliot sighed. "I thought she'd be here. Maybe she went home."

Elliot started to walk away from Casey and towards the door but Casey stopped him. "Elliot, you know better than I do that she's going to need some time to cool off. Just give her some time."

"I can't do that Casey," Elliot said, shaking his head swiftly. "The last time I gave her some time she flew across the country. This time she might not come back."

Before Casey could stop him, Elliot was out the door running down the hallway after a woman who wasn't even in the building.

Olivia was driving in her car, fighting the tears that she knew were behind her eyes. She was willing them to stay there, at least until she got home. She didn't want to cry over Elliot but if she had to she would rather it be in the comfort of her own home instead of on some street where people could see her breaking into a million pieces. She tried to reason with herself as she drove. She had no claim to Elliot, this was true, but she couldn't help but feel like she had just been cheated on. Her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. She pulled into a parking spot and hurried up the stairs. For the first time in all the years she had been living there, she took the elevator.

Olivia walked up to her door, the key already in her shaking hand, and opened it only enough to let herself in. She shut it behind her and pressed her back to it as she slid down the door, her arms pulling her knees closer to her. She let out a choppy breath that she didn't know she was holding and the tears surfaced. She pushed them back before they had a chance to spill over the edge but she was mad at herself. Mad that he had a control over her emotions, mad at herself for getting attached. She had never needed anyone before and she wasn't about to start now.

Somehow, she found the energy to get up off of the floor and drag herself over to the couch. On her way, she grabbed a blanket from the linen closet. She wrapped herself in the blanket and laid down on the couch. She didn't realize how tired she actually was until her head hit the pillow. Within minutes she was asleep.

Olivia's eyes shot open at the sound of her door being opened. She grabbed for her gun and jumped off the couch, her eyes focusing and her feet wobbling. She half lowered her gun when she saw who it was. "Get out of my house."

Elliot stood with his hands held up in front of him, inching towards her. "Just let me explain, Liv."

"I don't want to listen to you," She seethed, her gun still pointing at him. "Get out of my house."

Elliot tried to get her to see how sorry he was through his eyes like they always did, but much like Casey all he got back was a cold stare. Olivia's eyes were almost black and they showed no emotion besides anger and resentment. "Leave."

Her voice was even and commanding. There was no anger in the statement, it was just that: a statement. The hand holding the gun wasn't moving and her eyes were fixated on his. Elliot tried once more to make a plead with his eyes, but he got nothing in return. He turned and started to walk out of the apartment. "I'm sorry," He said softly as he got to the door.

Olivia's arm holding the gun dropped and she slowly walked to the door. Elliot waited just outside the door, his eyes never leaving hers. She put her hand on the door and stood for a moment, watching him. "Me too."

Olivia shut the door and latched it before turning away and lying back down. Her eyes were welling up with tears and this time she didn't have the energy or the willpower to stop them. She let the tears roll down her face and sat staring off. She thought about everything that happened between the two of them, all the good times and all the fights. She thought about how she always went back to him, no matter what he did. This time, she wasn't so sure she could. She felt hurt, angry, but most importantly she felt betrayed. He promised her he wasn't like that. He told her all men aren't the same, but his actions contradicted his words. In her mind, he was just as bad as all the other men she dated, but in her heart, she knew he was different.

Her mind latched on to one phrase he told her several hours before, _there are some pretty decent guys out there, not all of us are corrupted._ Olivia laughed humorlessly at the statement. The word corrupted stuck out in her mind like a sore thumb. Her brain made the connection of why it was so familiar.

On the plane ride back from Oregon, she sat next to Dean Porter. She remembered them talking about a job opening and how he could get her in.

"_If you ever need a change of scenery," He said with a strange seriousness. "We always have room."_

_Olivia looked down at the card he was holding out for her to take and took it, thinking she wasn't going to use it. She looked at him and smiled warmly. "I'll keep it in mind."_

_Dean smiled and nodded. He extended his arm out. "It was a pleasure working with you, Detective."_

"_Likewise," Olivia replied, shaking his hand and grabbing her bags. _

"_Here, let me," He said, as he grabbed her bags and walked her to a cab. "Nice to be back in New York, huh?" _

"_Definitely," Olivia replied as she slid into the cab. _

_Dean stood in front of the door and waited for her to get in to shut it. "I look forward to hearing from you, but I won't hold my breath," He laughed. "I know how much you love working sex crimes."_

_Olivia laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I do._"

Olivia got up and walked around her living room. She opened the end table drawer and pulled out all of the papers. She put them on the couch and sifted through them until she found the one she wanted. She grabbed her phone and dialed the number that was scrawled on the back. It rang three times before he answered. "Dean Porter."

"Dean? It's Olivia Benson."

"Olivia? How are you? Is everything ok?" He asked and Olivia heard him getting out of a chair.

"Yeah, everything's fine," She lied. "I was wondering, is that job offer still available?"

"Of course," He replied. "We have an opening for an undercover mission in Texas, are you up for it? You can keep your job and I can tell your boss that you were requested."

"Ok, I'll do it."


	5. Flight 1103

**A/N: Sorry for the delay ! I've been so busy lately lol. Hopefully it won't happen again.**

**Disclaimer: nopeeee**

Dean filled Olivia in on the details of the case and told her that he booked her for a flight to Texas the very next day. "So soon?" Olivia asked, as she heard the time she would be leaving.

"It's better to get you infiltrated as soon as possible. It makes our job easier," Dean explained. "You know, Olivia. I was very happy that you called me, I was running out of people to ask."

Olivia nodded but then remembered that he couldn't see her. "Well, I'm glad I could help," She replied softly. "How long will I be gone?"

"It's hard to tell," Dean answered honestly. "It could only be for a couple of weeks or it could be as long as a couple of months."

"So, pretty much like with Oregon?" Olivia asked, trying to get a feel for how long she would be gone.

"Relatively, yes."

Olivia nodded again and got up from the couch. She thanked Dean and, after they arranged where to meet at the airport, hung up. She sighed and looked around her apartment, everything was too much of a reminder for her right now. She needed to get away and clear her mind. She thought of how Elliot would react when he heard the news, but she didn't care. She was too angry and too hurt by what he had done to inadvertently hurt her.

XOXOXOXOXO

Cragen was standing behind his desk glaring at the detective and the agent sitting before him. The silence was overwhelming as Jessica fidgeted and Elliot's leg bounced up and down. "I don't even know where to begin with you two."

Cragen's voice was harsh and professional as he spoke and it made Jessica jump slightly. "Jessica," He said sharply as he diverted his eyes to hers. "I–"

The shrill ring of the phone cut him off and he reached down to answer it, "Cragen ...Yes ...Ok ... When will she be back? ... I see ...Well thank you for informing me ...Get her back to me in one piece."

Elliot's eyes shot up at the word 'she' and watched Cragen as he spoke. Cragen avoided his eyes and continued talking to Jessica. "Jessica, as I was saying, I have no authority to take this off of this case, but do know that I am putting in a word for your supervisor, he will be hearing from me."

Jessica just nodded, the tears making her eyes shine before she blinked them back. Cragen, still cold as stone, turned to Elliot and cleared his throat. "As for you," He said carefully, choosing his words. "You have been taken off of this case and I don't want to see your face here for the rest of the week. You're dismissed."

Cragen finished harshly and took his seat, signaling for them to leave. Jessica got up almost immediately and rushed over to the door, not bothering to wait for Elliot. Elliot, however, didn't get up. "Do you need something Detective?"

"Who was on the phone?" He asked bluntly.

"That's none of your business, Detective." Cragen answered with equal bluntness.

"It was about Liv wasn't it?"

Cragen looked at the young man sitting before him and nodded. "Yes."

"She's leaving again, isn't she?" It was more of a statement than a question since the answer was obvious.

"Yes."

Elliot stood up sharply and began pacing around the room. "Fuck, Liv. Running away from this."

"Elliot," Cragen said, standing up and walking around his desk. "She was requested. She's coming back."

"Well that's a pretty convenient time to be requested for undercover duty with the FBI," Elliot retorted bitterly. "This was her choice, I know it. I can feel it. And how can you be so sure she'll be back?"

Cragen opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself and closed it. He took a deep breath. "I'm not."

Elliot just shook his head and laughed humorlessly, "Of course you're not. Olivia's just so goddamned unpredictable."

"That's what makes her so intriguing," Cragen smirked, trying to lighten Elliot's demeanor.

Elliot briefly smiled, only to acknowledge the attempt at humor. Cragen sighed and tried again. "Elliot, let me talk to you off the record. Just man to man."

Elliot looked up and waited.

"The attraction between you two is completely undeniable," Cragen started. "I mean, I honestly cannot say I've met two people more suited for each other that aren't even together."

Elliot opened his mouth but Cragen cut him off. "Let me finish. Remember this is off the record. I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of that but I do have a job to do, as do you two. Now, I know nothing, as of now, has happened between you two physically but just remember you work with detectives. I can't say if I will allow you two to be partners while you experiment with your relationship but I will consider it."

Elliot opened his mouth and Cragen didn't cut him off. "Well, off the record, I think I'm going to find it very hard to work without her. I mean, Munch is a great partner and everything but he's not Liv."

Cragen nodded. "I understand. Well, you do have some vacation days left if you want to use them."

Elliot nodded and started to walk out the side door. He stopped and turned, "Do you –?"

"No," Cragen answered prematurely, anticipating his question. "I don't know where he's sending her this time."

Elliot just nodded and continued walking. He stepped out of the precinct and searched for his car and realized that Olivia must have taken it to get home since he drove her this morning. He groaned as he tried to hail a cab. Sure it was easy for Olivia, any cab driver in New York would stop for her. With Elliot, not so much. After ten frustrating minutes, he finally found a cab driver who would stop for him. He told him Olivia's address and sat back, hoping she would be there when he arrived.

Olivia's apartment was a ten minute drive from the precinct. He pulled up and the doorman automatically recognized him. Olivia's apartment wasn't luxurious by any means but there was a doorman who knew each tenant personally. Elliot had almost become a tenant since his divorce. He would swing by to pick Olivia up when they had a call and come by for dinner when they didn't. The doorman put on his, always genuine, smile and greeted Elliot. "Good afternoon Elliot. What brings you here so early?"

Elliot shook his head at the man. He truly had no idea how complicated his relationship with Olivia actually was. "Hey Ben. Well, I was hoping to talk to Olivia. Is she in?"

Ben nodded but stopped Elliot as he tried to walk inside. "I'm sorry, Elliot. She gave me explicit instructions."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not allowed inside."

"But why not?"

Ben shrugged his shoulders, "I honestly can't tell you. She told me to give you this – "Ben pulled the key to Elliot's car out of his pocket – "and send you on your way."

Elliot nodded and fumbled with the keys in his hands. "Do you know where she's going?"

Ben nodded.

"Am I allowed to know?"

Ben paused for a minute, thinking about it. "Well, she didn't tell me not to tell you, so I guess it's ok. She told me she was going to California for a little while; that she was leaving tomorrow."

Elliot nodded, "Thanks Ben, I understand why you can't let me in the building."

Ben sighed, "She seemed rattled about something. At first I thought it was just the stress of being a cop and everything but now, seeing you here just as rattled, I'm not so sure."

Elliot forced a smile that he hoped looked real, "Don't worry about it, Ben. I'll get her back to you safe a sound."

Elliot walked away and search for his car. He found it a block away and sighed as he found a pile of his clothes in the backseat. There was a note attached to the top.

_Elliot- _

_I found these in my closet. I washed them for you._

_-Olivia_

He cringed at the formality of the letter: using full names, no nonsense, and no cuteness. It was all professional, as if it was a letter from Elliot to Cragen. He could almost hear the monotonous voice she would have used if she had spoken the words rather than written them.

Elliot's heart started racing as he thought of her getting on that plane, risking her life for people she didn't even know. All without him to protect her like he always has. He thought back to in the cribs. His actions now repulsed him and he would do anything to take them back. He saw the pain and the hurt shoot through her eyes for a split second before the anger and betrayal set in. He finally knew what he was going to have to do. He turned on the car and went as fast as he could down the highway.

Finally, he reached his destination. After paying a ridiculous amount to park in the parking lot, the only place he was sure his car would be safe for a while, he walked into the airport and sat on the bench closest to the entrance.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally the sun began to break through the darkness and he knew she would be there soon enough. He trusted the fact that she probably wouldn't take such an early flight and went to grab a cup of coffee. Sure enough, when he got back there was still no sign of her.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally he saw her. She was pulling at least three suitcases behind her. Elliot chuckled to himself as he watched her fumbling, cursing under her breath. He watched her, oblivious to him, as she asked the woman at the counter where to go. Elliot didn't realize just how far ahead of him she actually was until he saw her disappearing around a corner. He jumped up and ran after her, resisting the urge to shout her name through the terminal. He used his badge to his advantage and waved it at security trying to stop him.

Finally he saw Dean giving the woman his ticket and boarding the plane with Olivia a few people behind him. He waved his badge one last time and made a bee-line for Olivia. When he was within a reasonable distance he called for her, "Liv!"

Olivia looked up, bewildered, she caught sight of Elliot running through the terminal waving at her to stop. She stepped out of line as he made his way through the last crowd of people that separated them. "Elliot?"

He waited a moment to try to catch his breath and watched as a circus of emotions played across her face. First, there was excitement, then remembrance, then pain, then anger, and finally betrayal. He could carefully pick out each of the emotions. Elliot's eyes darted to Olivia's lips without thinking and he was utterly surprised that she didn't slap him. Instead her eyes darted to his as well. Olivia's mind wandered and it no longer mattered that there was a plane less than forty feet away from her waiting for her. _God, I want him so bad. No, stop it. He betrayed me, he doesn't deserve me._

Elliot's mind did exactly the same thing. It was unbeknownst to both of them that they were slowly inching closer. _God, she's so beautiful. I should have known I was going to fuck it up. If I could just kiss her just once, maybe it will be enough._

Elliot resisted the urge to scoff at himself. Just one kiss from Olivia Benson would be like taunting a starving man with a cheeseburger and only allowing him one bite, only worse. Their eyes stayed glued to each other's lips as they both were aware of the close proximity of each other. Suddenly, Elliot felt a hand on his. He gripped it tightly, not allowing it to move. He stroked his thumb over it and give it a light squeeze. "I'm so sorry."

Olivia nodded and Elliot could see the tears welling up in her eyes. He let go of her hand but pulled her into a tight hug, not letting her squirm out of it like he knew she wanted to. "I'm so sorry, Liv. I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me."

Olivia sighed and pulled back slightly so that she could look into his eyes as she spoke. "I know you are, Elliot. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I wish I could say I forgive you, but I'm not going to lie to you."

Elliot's eyes lowered and Olivia's hand shot up to cup his chin, "But I can tell you this: I will forgive you. One day. I don't know when and I don't know how but I will. I promise."

Elliot kissed her forehead and let his lips linger against it as he spoke, "I will do everything to make it up to you, Olivia. Just please don't get on that plane."

Olivia shook her head, "I'm sorry. I have to."

"No, no you don't. You can tell Dean to forget about it and you can come home and come back to work," Elliot was almost begging now as he spoke, trying as hard as he could to convince her.

"I need to do this, Elliot. For me. For us."

Elliot didn't say anything in return but he kissed her forehead again, not wanting to kiss her lips. He didn't want to know what she tasted like until he could have her every night and every day by his side. "Promise me you'll come back."

"I promise," Olivia's voice was soft and frail.

Elliot could feel her pushing the tears back as the announcement over the speakers said it was the last chance to board for Flight 11-03 – her flight. She pulled away from his warm embrace and reached into her pocket. She held out her silver key and placed it in his hand with hers still holding it. "Take care of my place for me."

Elliot nodded and wrapped his fingers around the key and her hand. He kissed her forehead once more before she forced herself to turn and board the plane.


	6. 5 Months And 27 Days

**A/N: PLEASEEEEEEE forgive me guys, I've been sick and grounded and busy with honors english and french 4 and ugh everything has been so crazy especially with the holidays around and everything. I know there's no excuse but I'm back and I'm going to start getting back on a regular updating schedule. I'm SO sorry guys, I really am.**

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

Elliot stood in the middle of the airport terminal for what seemed like days. In reality, he was there with his fingers wrapped securely around the silver key for twenty minutes. It was only after a flight attendant noticed him staring off into the distance and offered some assistance when he finally found the strength to move his legs. He was so sure he was moving slower than he ever had before but it seemed like a short amount of before he was climbing into the driver's seat of his car. His eyes were glazed over and no matter how many times he blinked, it never went away. Before he realized he was even driving, he was pulling into a parking spot. As he cut the engine off, he looked around and felt a twinge of pain in his chest as he realized he subconsciously drove to Olivia's apartment building.

He felt his body for the first time since he saw Olivia slip around the corner to board the plane. Every nerve ending in his body felt like a live wire as he got out of the car. He could see everything, hear everything, and smell everything. He watched, but didn't care, as Ben watched him walk past without even so much as a glance in his direction. All of his senses were heightened and he took the stairs one at a time, something he hardly ever did, as he walked the four floors to her apartment. He was suddenly aware of all of the cracks and the dents in the walls in the stairwell that he had never noticed before. He sighed as he stood before her door with the silver key still wrapped securely in his hand. He unfolded his hand and looked at the key, turning it over in his hand. He stuck it in the door and the first tear fell when it clicked into place and he turned the lock.

Olivia wasn't doing much better. Since she got on the plane, Dean had tried to talk to her a total of fifteen times, she counted. Each time she gave him as short of an answer as she could. He finally stopped trying as she pretended to put her head back and droop her eyes. She glanced over and saw him with his mouth hanging open and head slung back against the seat. Olivia opened her window shade and looked out over the clouds, trying to see through them to the ground where maybe she could make sense over how long she had been on the flight. She wanted to go back. She wanted to tell the pilot to go back to New York and that she was a cop and that it was an emergency, but she couldn't. Her irrational mind was screaming at her, trying to overpower her rational mind. Telling her to do it and to go back to New York, and her heart was agreeing. It was only her, now overpowered but still in control, rational mind that kept her glued to her seat.

Her mind reeled with images of Elliot. She thought back to all the late nights and all the cases they worked that only brought them closer, and of the one thing that nearly tore them apart. The reason she was on this plane. Finally, exhaustion set in and she willingly closed her eyes and let unconsciousness take her over.

XOXOXOXO

"Elliotཀ" Elliot jumped as he heard his boss' voice ring through the silence of the cribs. "I need you to go with Munch to this address."

Elliot took the paper without opening his eyes as he swung his legs to the side of the bed. He groaned and rubbed his eyes as Cragen flipped the light switch on as he walked out. He stood and stretched as he looked at the time. 4:57 PM, he sighed and shook his head. Five months and 27 days since he last saw her face. He shook that thought from his head. He had a job to do, he told himself, as he had everyday since she left. Her face as she turned to get on the plane was still vivid in his mind. He walked over to the door and left the darkness of the cribs.

"Finallyཀ" Munch exclaimed as he stood up from his desk.

Elliot nodded. "I'll drive."

"Oh God, I'm not gonna be coming back, am I?" Munch asked in a jokingly fearful way.

"Funny, Munch. Just hysterical."

Munch followed Elliot to the car and groaned as he got in, "Too many hours on that treadmill."

Elliot scoffed, "Treadmill? Try too many hours sleeping on that ratty old mattress that you've had for 80 years. It's time to buy a new one, old man."

"Mattress companies are just out to scam you," He said as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You see I have them all figured out. They get you into the store and there when they are in control, they butter you up. Once you trust them to give you the 'best deal', they throw a horribly overpriced mattress on you and claim that it meets your specific needs ..."

Elliot tuned out his ranting new partner and focused on the road in front of him, wishing the day would be over.

XOXOXOXO

It was finally the end of the day. Elliot welcomed it with open arms. He shut down his computer and gathered his things quickly, much like he did all five months and twenty-seven days. He had nothing to wait for anymore so there was no reason to spend any more time in the place that gave him the most memories.

He decided to make his daily visit to Olivia's apartment. He chuckled to himself as he realized he was probably making it look over-lived in since Olivia was hardly there to begin with. He got into his car without memory of walking out of the squad room. It wasn't unusual for him to forget chucks of time like that lately. Olivia was the only reason he paid attention when he wasn't with his kids so it was easy to block most things out when she wasn't around. He drove to her apartment using the back streets to avoid traffic and people. He pulled in his usual spot in front of her apartment building and waved at Ben. "I thought you weren't coming tonight," Ben yelled from his spot at the door.

"Why did you think that?"

"It's just a little later for you than normal," Ben replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh," Elliot replied, looking down at his watch. "I guess I just got caught up at work longer than I realized."

"Well, I'm glad to see you regardless," Ben said with a smile.

Elliot laughed, "Thanks Ben. Same to you."

Elliot walked into the apartment building that might as well be his. He spent more time there than he had in his own apartment in the last almost six months. He took the stairs to her forth floor apartment and took out his keys, which now held her key along with his. He always smiled when he saw it next to his house key. It was a symbol to the line they almost completely crossed all those months ago. He stuck the key in the lock but it didn't click, it was already unlocked. His hand flew to his gun and he pushed the door open with his foot as he secured his gun with both hands.

He flew around the corners of the hallway and saw a light on in the bedroom. He braced himself against the wall and peaked around the corner. He saw movement but couldn't make out the person in the room. He took a deep breath and lunged around the door. "PUT YOUR—"

He stopped mid-sentence. He lowered his gun slowly as he took in the person standing in front of him. She had long brown hair, much longer than the last time he saw her. It cascaded in loose curls and waves around her face. Her face was much softer than the last time he saw it. There was no pain and no anger sketched into the features, only love. He gave her the once over and took in her skinny jeans, sweater, and Uggs, yeah she was definitely in California. She smiled softly, "What? A girl can't look through her closets without committing a crime?"

At any other time, it would have made him laugh but right now he was too dumbstruck to even form a proper sentence. Olivia reached over and took the gun from him, placing it lightly on the nightstand next to her bed. "El? Are you ok?"

Elliot nodded slowly and cleared his throat as his mind cleared out, "Looks like California made an impact on you."

Olivia looked down at herself and pulled on her sweater, "A little bit, is it that obvious?"

Elliot nodded and smirked. He opened his mouth at the same time Olivia did but closed it, "You go first."

Olivia nodded, "Ok ... Well, I guess there's really only one thing I have to say to you. After all these months of thinking and considering every angle of our relationship, I've come to one conclusion ...I forgive you."

The words were sweet and Elliot replayed them in his mind over and over again. He finally walked across the room and closed the gap between them. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. He inhaled deeply as her hair wrapped around him. He smiled at the length of it, he always loved it long.

"I missed you," He whispered into her hair. He felt her smile and returned it.

"I missed you more."

Elliot laughed a full bodied laugh, something he hadn't done in over five months and twenty-seven days. "I doubt that very much."

He pulled away and pulled one hand up to frame her face. He caressed her cheek with his hand. Olivia smiled her soft smile and it sent the butterflies that Elliot had been missing through his stomach. He looked into her eyes for a long time, wanting to remember every color they held. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and she sighed softly, "I missed that."

"Me too."

Elliot leaned down to kiss her lips. To finally taste her and have her. He paused and looked into her eyes, just to be sure. The look in her eyes was a clear yes. He dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers gently. He took in the contours of her lips and pushed his own harder against hers. He tangled his fingers in her hair as his tongue grazed her lips. Olivia willingly gave him entrance and her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. She took a step back and felt the back of her knees hit the bed. She pulled him back with her as she moved so that she was kneeling on the bed, without letting go of him.

Elliot pulled his face away from hers, "Are you sure?"

Olivia smiled softly, "Yes."

Elliot nodded and kissed her neck as he pulled her sweater up over her head. He took in every curve of her body and kissed down her stomach. He unbuttoned her skinny jeans and had a surprisingly easy time getting them off. He looked her over and sighed, "Looks like I'm gonna have to get some meat on you again."

Olivia laughed, "It was part of my cover. I've been living on rice cakes and salads for five months."

"Well don't worry, it's nothing but pizza and donuts for the next couple of months," Elliot joked as he kissed her neck.

Olivia opened her mouth but her breath hitched in her throat and she bit back a moan. She wanted to tell him everything about the nearly six months she had been gone but she couldn't, not now. It would have to wait.

Elliot hooked his finger around Olivia's panties and with one quick tug they were flung to the side with her jeans and Uggs. He tangled his hand again into her hair as he brought her closer and kissed her. Olivia was the one who asked , which Elliot allowed without a second thought. As the ferociously kissed, Olivia worked feverishly on the buttons of Elliot's shirt, it was quickly discarded, and her nimbly fingers unbuttoned his pants. As they kissed, Elliot laid her on her back and his free hand traveled down her long, slender body and stopped in front of her hot entrance. He slid two fingers in causing Olivia to cry out in pleasure through their kiss. Elliot broke their kiss and moved down to her breast. He began to suckle and nip at the one nipple as he continued sliding his fingers in and out. She was getting closer and closer to the edge and this was just the beginning. She begged with him, "I need you."

"I know you do, baby," He replied occasionally but he showed no sign of giving her what she so desperately wanted.

"Elliot," She breathed as she tried to form a sentence. "I really don't think ... you understand."

Elliot chuckled to himself as he stopped moving his hand and kissed her neck, "I think I understand very well actually."

"Then why are you being so cruel?" She asked, opening her eyes and cupping his face with her hands, forcing him to look at her.

"So that you'll remember this night for the rest of your life," He replied sincerely.

"Done," Olivia whispered. "Now give me what I want and I'll remember it even better, Stabler."

Elliot laughed another full-bodied laugh, "Now there's the Benson I've been missing."

Without another word, Elliot took his hand away and carefully slid himself into Olivia. He treated her as if this was her first time, ever. He barely moved once in, Elliot wanted Olivia to be as comfortable as humanly possible. Olivia gave him a strange look, "El, is everything alright?"

He nodded, "Yeah, are you?"

"I'm fine El, I just need you" Olivia exclaimed in slight frustration in her still unfulfilled tension and need.

Elliot grinned his shit eating grin and Olivia smacked him on the back of the head. "Hey! Don't you know that blows to the head cause trauma."

"You better hope that's the only pain you'll be getting," Olivia scoffed then thought for a minute. "So does that work for your other head too?"

Elliot said nothing but went to work pleasing her, knowing it would be bad for his health if he didn't. He moved within her, feeling her hot core clenching around him. He knew she was close. He was too. Olivia's nails dug into his back. He knew it would hurt in the morning but he didn't care. It was sexy.

His hand came from beside her and worked on teasing her already tortured nipple. He felt it bead more even though he was sure that wasn't possible. Olivia's breathing was fast and shallow. "Faster, El."

Her voice surprised him but her words were clear and urgent. He began pumping faster but not fast enough to hurt her. Olivia sensed his hesitation. "I'm not going to break, El."

"I know but I don't want to hurt you"

"You won't." Olivia promised.

With that, Elliot moved faster and Olivia raised her hips up in tune with his motions. Elliot dipped his head down to further torture the nipple that was painfully beaded. Olivia's head rolled back and her mouth dropped open. A moan escaped and it made Elliot forget his intentions of not hurting her and move faster. He reached a free hand down between them and felt how wet she was. "Livvie, you're so wet."

Olivia just nodded as best as she could. "Do something about it."

Elliot pumped harder into her and within seconds she erupted. She screamed his name and Elliot could hear it echoing through the apartment. Seconds later Elliot erupted and Olivia's nails scratched down his back, extending his pleasure.

Elliot got off of Olivia and laid beside her, pulling her closer to him. She turned onto her side so that she was facing him and smiled as she kissed him. "This wasn't what I was expecting when I came home."

"What were you expecting?"

"Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect. I thought you were going to be with someone else and I'd go back to being just your partner and I'd pretend to be happy with just that because it would be better than having nothing at all." Olivia replied as her voice got softer. "I certainly didn't expect this."

Elliot pushed her hair out of her face and twirled a piece around his finger, "Well I didn't expect this either. I didn't even expect you to be here tonight. I guess that explains what Ben meant when he told me he didn't think I was coming tonight ... But another woman? When I have you all to myself? How could I ever think of anyone else again?"

"You didn't know you had me," Olivia pointed out with a smirk.

"I had a feeling. And even if you didn't forgive me, I'd win you over." Elliot replied cockily.

Olivia giggled, "Well if this is your idea of winning me over, you're right you would win."

Elliot laughed and the sound of Olivia's growling stomach caught them both off guard. "Hungry?"

Olivia laughed, "I guess so, I didn't even realize it. Now that I think about it, it has been a long time since I ate last."

"I'll go fix you something," Elliot said as he leaned over to kiss her and got up.

"And he can cook. Wow, is there anything else you're hiding from me?" Olivia joked as she pushed the blanket off of her and sauntered past him into the bathroom.

As she shut the door, Elliot watched her and shook his head. She was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.

**A/N: Ok, I have a very big twist coming up and I decided not to make you guys suffer by keeping Liv out of the picture for too long ... well at least not too long for us, Elliot is a different story lol. I hope the smut wasn't too bad. I think I'm getting better at it thanks to my beta :)**


	7. Matthew

1 Elliot and Olivia were in the kitchen eating. Elliot made waffles and eggs as he got ready for his day at work. He had kept clothes at her apartment while she was gone because he often spent the night. Olivia, however, decided that she was going to spend some time away from the office. She wanted time to clear her head and get back into the bad-ass Detective Benson mode.

As Elliot got ready, her mind wandered. She walked around her apartment and noticed little things that he had changed. He had kept up with the spare bedroom and made it look lived in, he had changed where the cups and utensils were put in the cupboards and drawers, and he added some pictures to the living room. She loved it. She loved walking around and spotting something new. Being able to find something new in her own house. She could get used to this. Olivia thought of having Elliot with her all the time but then pushed it aside when she thought about how fast they would be moving.

Elliot walked into the living room and stepped behind her, watching her as she picked up the picture of the two of them at a Christmas party several years before. "I remember that night," Olivia laughed as she shook her head and turned around with the picture still in hand. "You were so drunk and you had to sleep on my couch when I was still in that old apartment."

"I know, and I woke up five hours late for work," Elliot laughed. "But you covered for me by telling him I had an emergency."

"I know. You're lucky I'm such a good liar."

"No, I was lucky you had an entire bottle of aspirin in the bathroom," Elliot chuckled.

Elliot walked back into the bedroom and got his shoes, gun, and badge. He strapped himself in and made sure he had his phone with him. He walked out into the living room to find Olivia lying on the couch with a blanket draped over her. "I'm going to work," Elliot announced as he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Olivia grabbed him by his tie and pulled him back down. She pushed her lips to his and held him there for as long as the lack of oxygen would let her. "Do you want me to come back here tonight?"

Olivia broke eye contact and shrugged her shoulders, "If you want to."

Elliot smiled and nodded, "I'll make you dinner."

"Oh you spoil me too much," Olivia laughed as she let go of his tie.

"Hardly."

Elliot kissed her once again and, after telling her to be careful, and left. He walked into work like nothing was different and acted the same as he would have any other day. He was sent out into the field with Munch, all the while thinking about what Olivia was doing.

Olivia, since Elliot had left, had taken a long hot shower, taken the time to do her hair and makeup, and decided that she was going to do some shopping. She needed some new clothes to fit her new body. She loved being skinny, but she knew it looked a lot different in New York than in California. She knew she needed to get some more meat on her bones, especially if she wanted to survive the winter.

Olivia walked to her car, waving goodbye to Ben as she did. Ben and Olivia caught up for at least a half hour when she first got back into the city. It was the first place she went and Ben was overjoyed, to say the least, to see her. She told him not to spill the beans to Elliot if he showed up. Ben promised that he would, that he always does. Olivia drove to her favorite store in New York. It just happened to be almost every woman's favorite store: Victoria's Secret. She got underwear and bras that she knew would, not only make her feel sexy, but drive Elliot crazy. She was smiling to herself as she walked over to check out. Her eye caught someone in the window. He was staring. Staring directly at her. Olivia watched him for a few seconds before she turned back to the woman who was talking.

After Olivia paid she walked out of the store, feeling the eyes boring into her back. She tried to ignore them and go along with the rest of her day. She grabbed a quick lunch and went to her favorite coffee shop. She ordered her favorite, half regular and half decaf cappuccino and went for a walk in the park. It was high noon by the time she got to her favorite part of the park. She was sitting near the park where all the children play with their parents. She loved watching the children run and play so carefree.

Olivia thought about having children of her own. Her biological clock was ticking so loudly that she could hardly hear anything else half the time. A little girl ran up to her and showed her a teddy bear. Olivia laughed and told her that it was a very pretty teddy bear and asked what its name was.

"Julie," The little girl replied and then ran back when her friend called her.

Olivia smiled warmly at the little girl and it warmed her heart. She wanted a baby so badly, but the way her job and her love life were going, it didn't look likely. Her mind wandered to Elliot. He could give her the baby she always desired. But no. She couldn't do that to him, she wouldn't. He already had five kids of his own, he certainly didn't need another one. Olivia got the feeling of eyes on her again and looked around casually. Her eyes landed on the man who was watching her in Victoria's Secret. Olivia's heart raced but she tried to remain calm on the outside. She was trying to figure out if she had seen this man before. Once she was certain she hadn't she saw him approaching her out of the corner of her eye.

He sat down on the bench next to her but Olivia pretended like she hadn't noticed him. "I know you've seen me," He said quietly. "I've never been that good at sneaking around."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Matthew. You don't know me, but I know you."

"What do you want?" Olivia asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"I want to talk," Matthew replied angling his body to face Olivia. Olivia looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Talk."

Matthew took a deep breath and rung his hands together. "Well, I don't know how to say this so I'll just say it. I think I'm in love with you."


	8. Central Park

**A/N: Ok guys, really? the reviews SUCK. no offense to all the people who do review, as you know i read them all and respond to them all, but i mean i know i get a lot more views than i do reviews and i'm not trying to be a bitch but i work really hard on these chapters and i like hearing from you guys so if you could take the time and write a meaningful review it would make such a big difference and make my chapters longer and updated faster.**

**Disclaimer: nope**

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1"What?" Olivia exclaimed as she turned to fully face the man for the first time.

He had a full head of brown hair and striking green eyes. He was obviously tall even as he was sitting but he wasn't built as he should have been based on his height. A smirk grew on his face and he looked Olivia directly in the eyes. "You heard me."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Obviously I heard you, I just don't understand how you can love me when you don't even know me."

"Oh I know you, Olivia," Matthew replied quickly. "The only problem is you don't know me. You would love me too, Olivia, if you really knew me."

Olivia watched this man in front of her incredulously. He couldn't possibly be serious, could he? Olivia shook her head and looked away from the man. "I highly doubt that."

"Oh? And why is that?" He asked smugly as if he already knew the answer.

"Because I'm already in love with someone else," She replied bluntly, hoping it would throw him off.

"Oh yes," He replied with a great, big grin on his face. "Mr. Elliot Stabler, is that correct?"

"Why do you say that?" Olivia asked, keeping her face placid.

"Oh come on, Olivia. Do you really think you can hide anything from me? I saw you two," Olivia's eyes widened but she refused to look back at Matthew. "And I heard you talking in your sleep in California. That's right, I was there with you, Olivia. Unlike Elliot, I couldn't stand to be away from you for so long so I followed you."

Olivia scoffed, "No, unlike Elliot you're a psychopath. You need serious help."

"No Olivia, I just need you." He reached his hand up to caress her cheek but Olivia moved away. "Oh come on, Olivia. No need to play hard to get."

Olivia got up and walked over to the trash can to throw her now empty cup of coffee away. She could hear Matt's footsteps behind her. She continued to walk to the direction of the entrance to the park. Matt's stepped synced up with hers but it was forced and choppy, nothing like with Elliot. Olivia got outside the park and continued walking, hoping he would just leave her alone.

Instead, he pushed her up against her car and leaned his body up against her, pinning her to the car. "Get off of me." Olivia hissed, trying not to make a scene in the middle of New York.

"Oh don't be so hasty, Olivia," He replied, a lilt playing through his voice. "I just want to talk to you."

"Then talk."

"Bossy, I like it," He leered with a wink. Olivia turned her head around in disgust but he grabbed it and made her face him. "But that, I don't like. Get them straight."

"Don't tell me what to do." Olivia seethed, the anger boiling in her was threatening to overflow.

"Oh feisty, that's better. But I think I should tell you what to do, if you want to keep your precious Elliot safe."

"Is that a threat?"

"A suggestion." He replied casually, as if he had just answered whether or not he wants cream and sugar in his coffee.

He leaned off of Olivia and she stood up straight again. "Is that all, Matthew?"

"Yes. Just, do me a favor, don't tell anyone about our little ... encounter, won't you?" Then he paused and laughed a little. "Of course you won't, Elliot means too much to you."

Matthew moved fully off of Olivia but, after cupping her face, kissed her cheek. Olivia gave him a look of disgust to which he gave a smile and walked away. Olivia wiped her cheek off and looked after him in disbelief. She took her keys out of her pocket and walked around to the driver's side. She got in and turned the car on, still not believing what had just happened. As she drove away she saw him again, sitting on a bench watching her, with the sadistic grin plastered to his face.

XOXOXOXO

Olivia pulled into a parking spot in front of her building and looked up to her window, the light was on so someone was home. Elliot, no doubt. She checked the time and couldn't believe how long she had been gone. It was currently 6:37 at night. She was wondering why Elliot hadn't called her and asked her where she had been.

She turned the car off and walked into her apartment building, greeting Ben. She took the stairs to her apartment and opened the door. The kitchen light was on and the tv was playing a DVD she forgot she had. Olivia dropped her keys into the key bowl on the end table near the door and slipped her shoes off. Elliot came around the corner and smiled at her. "There you are," He came over and kissed her passionately. "I was getting worried."

"Why didn't you call?"

"Well, I just assumed you would want some time to yourself to think about things and enjoy being back in the city again," Elliot kissed her again. "Did you have a nice time?"

Olivia avoided his eyes and walked over to the couch to sit. "Yeah, I walked around Central Park and watched some kids playing at the playground for a while. I guess I just lost track of time."

Elliot smiled and played with her hair. He knew how desperately she wanted a baby. "Kids do that to you."

Olivia looked up and him and smiled. "Yeah, I guess so."

Olivia looked back at the tv and got lost in the tv show. Before she knew it, she could smell the food from the kitchen. She got up and walked into the kitchen, watching Elliot cook. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "What are you making?"

"Chicken and Fettuccini Alfredo."

"Mmm. You're amazing," Olivia said as she kissed his neck.

"Careful, babe. I have hot things in my hands."She put her head on his shoulder and watched as he put the finishing touches on their dinner.

Olivia and Elliot ate their dinner in silence. It was a comfortable silence for Elliot who had nothing to say but it was uncomfortable for Olivia who's mind wouldn't let her forget Matthew's face. His threat rang through her ears over and over again and made it almost impossible to enjoy the food that Elliot had made. Olivia went through the entire dinner without telling Elliot about Matthew. She knew she should. She knew it would be better if he knew so he could be on guard and so he could help her but she couldn't risk his life like that. Matthew was right, Elliot was too important to her.

"Are you ok?" Elliot broke the silence as he got up to take their plates into the kitchen.

Olivia looked up from her dazed, internal debate. "Yeah, I'm just tired."

"Why don't you go lie down while I clean up," Elliot suggested as he picked up her plate.

"No, it's ok," Olivia insisted as she tried to take her plate back from Elliot. "You cooked and now I'll clean. It's only fair."

"Liv," Elliot sighed. "You look exhausted. I don't care about what's fair. Go lie down."

Olivia sighed and let go of the plate. She knew Elliot wouldn't give up and she didn't have the energy to fight with him about it. She got up and walked into the living room. She turned on a movie that she didn't recognize but watched it anyway. Within minutes she was asleep.

Elliot came out of the kitchen and saw Olivia sleeping on the couch. He smiled to himself as he walked over to her. He scooped her up and took her into the bedroom. He tucked her in lightly and kissed her on the forehead. "Goodnight baby."

Elliot climbed into the other side of the bed completely oblivious to the person watching him from the next building over with a grin plastered to his face.

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**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE (:**


	9. Sorry

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry. I mean there's really nothing else I can say for all of the time away. Time has been simply getting away from me. But I promise, I'm working on this next chapter as well as 3 new songfics! And I promise they will be amazing. I'm so sorry guys, I really hope you guys are still out there waiting for me and I'm sorry if this note got your hopes up! Sorry again guys, I love you all !**


	10. A Night In Bed

**A/N: Ok guys, I'm so sorry but I swear on every dead soul I will get back on a regular schedule I promise and I hope you like this chapter and I'll be waiting for those reviews (: love you all**

Olivia woke up with Elliot's arms wrapped around her waist but an uneasy feeling in her stomach. She looked around her and noticed she was in the bedroom, but had no recollection of getting there. She felt Elliot's lips press against her neck and realized what had woken her up. The memories of the previous day's events invaded her thoughts which explained the uneasy feeling in her stomach. She stretched, sighed, and rolled over to face Elliot. His smiling face awaited her and she hoped she returned the smile with as much enthusiasm as she could. "Good Morning."

"Good Morning." Elliot kissed her forehead, then her nose, and then her lips, lingering longer on her lips than anywhere else. "Did you sleep good?"

"Yeah, I did," Olivia lied. She had had nightmares of Matt abducting her and torturing her and all the terrible things she could possibly think of all night. Even worse, she had nightmares of what he would do to Elliot. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for much longer; Elliot could always see right through her.

"Hungry?"

"Um, no not really. But I'll eat if you are." Olivia replied, knowing it would be near impossible to eat with her stomach in knots.

Elliot shook his head, "No, I'm not hungry either. At least, not for food."

He smirked as he brushed her hair back and kissed her neck. Olivia smiled and leaned her head back against the pillow and just like that Matt was nowhere in her mind. Elliot reached his hands down under the sheets and pushed up her shirt and pulled it off. Elliot crawled on top of her and let his hands roam all over her body. He watched the goosebumps rise as he brushed his fingers over her stomach. He reveled in the flatness of it but wanted more than anything to see it bulging and feel the kicking of a baby. He trailed kisses down from her neck, stopping to give each breast the attention they deserved. Flicking his tongue over each nipple and feeling them bead in response.

He continued his trail down her stomach brushing it with his thumb. He pulled off her pants and panties in one swipe and skipped over her hot core as he traveled downward. Elliot spread her legs and kissed her inner thighs, sucking lightly enough to leave a mark only they would know about.

As he started back upward, toward her hot, wet core, Olivia arched her back and he looked up to see her biting back a moan. He smiled and kissed the entrance of her core and then the sides. Olivia moaned and ran her fingers through her hair. "Elliot, please."

As soon as she said it she wished she could take it back. Begging only made Elliot torture her more. Elliot smiled as he trailed his way back up to her neck. "What was that, Liv?"

Olivia moaned as his lips covered her right breast. She was so close and he knew it. Elliot kissed his way up to her neck and finally covered her lips with his. He trailed the contours of her lips with his tongue and smiled when he saw her lips parted in anticipation.

He finally gave in to her and kissed her full on the lips, darting his tongue into her mouth. Olivia reached her hands up to touch his neck and tugged on the hairs at the nape of his neck. Elliot groaned in response. Even the slightest touch from Olivia was enough to set him on fire. Olivia smiled into his mouth, knowing that she was slowly gaining control of the situation which was exactly the way she liked it. Elliot reached down and slid two fingers between them and into her. "Hmm you're so wet, Liv."

Olivia smiled as she kissed him and tried to get back in control. Elliot slid into her as he pinned Olivia's hands above her head with his own. As Elliot started moving inside her, Olivia wiggled her hands free and placed them on his shoulders. She pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him and Elliot placed his hands on her hips. Olivia grinded her hips into his and leaned forward while tugging at the short hairs on his head. Olivia exploded shortly after at the same time as Elliot who called out her name upon climax. Olivia collapsed on top of Elliot and he wrapped his arms around her.

Both were silent for a long time, reveling in the afterglow of sex and placing sweet, innocent kisses on various parts of their bodies. Olivia climbed off of Elliot after several minutes but rested her head on his chest and draped her leg over his body. Elliot kissed the top of her head and he sighed and broke the silence. "I need to get ready for work. Are you coming in today?"

Olivia nodded. "Cragen doesn't even know I'm back yet, unless you told him."

Elliot shook his head. "I didn't"

Olivia nodded and sat up, pushing the sheets off of her. "I call the first shower," She said, smiling as she trotted to the bathroom.

Elliot smiled and followed suit, "I have a better idea."

Together they showered, taking turns getting clean and getting dirty. They stayed until the water ran cold and they dried off, each dressing for the day. Elliot wore a powder blue button up shirt and jeans. Olivia, having a limited amount of clothing to wear, wore a pair of jeans and a dark blue tank top with thick straps, a band of blue under the breasts, and a flowing torso. Olivia paired it with a pair of black flats, knowing full well Cragen would not make her work anything more than desk duty on her first day back. She continued with her hair and makeup, putting her long hair in a ponytail and styling the ponytail and making a smokey yet subtle look in her makeup.

Olivia walked out of the bedroom and Elliot stopped in his tracks. "Wow."

Olivia giggled and spun around. "You like?"

"I love. But it's going to be really difficult to work with you now." Elliot joked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Like it was easy before." Olivia grinned as she kissed him. "I should leave now. I want to be sitting there when the rest of the squad gets in. It'll be fun."

Elliot laughed. "You've always been one for the shock factor."

Olivia smiled and kissed him goodbye. As she walked out Ben smiled at her, "Back to your regular schedule?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded and smiled. "With some minor changes of course."

Ben smiled and wished her well. Olivia walked out and noticed the air was dry but warm and the sun was coming out. As Olivia walked to her car she saw a familiar face. Matt was leaning against her car and smiling at her. Olivia sighed when she saw him and quickened her stride. Matt got off of the car and allowed her to get in. "Nice to see you, Olivia."

"That's sweet." Olivia replied, flatly as she got into her car.

"Well you would think after the morning you had you'd be much more pleasant." Matt said as he held her door open.

"Stay away from me and my house." Olivia seethed.

"Not Elliot?"

"Especially Elliot." Olivia slammed the car door shut and turned the car on. She rolled down her window and glared at Matt. "And that is a threat."

Olivia pulled out of her parking spot and left Matt standing on the corner. She drove fast through the streets, much faster than she should, to get away from him. She tried to calm herself by breathing slowly and eventually it worked and she was able to drive at a more reasonable speed. Faster than she anticipated, she pulled up to the precinct and found a parking spot. Olivia smiled to herself as she walked up the familiar steps of the precinct; it was good to be home. Olivia knocked on the side door to Cragen's office and heard his voice call her in.

Cragen looked up from his desk and stopped short. "Olivia," He said as he got up and walked around his desk. "I didn't know you were back."

Olivia nodded and smiled. "Yeah for a few days. I wanted to get everything situated before I came back to work."

Cragen smiled. "Well, it's nice to have you back. I see California made an impression on you."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, I had to lose a lot of weight to be able to blend in there and now nothing I have here fits me."

Cragen laughed and shook his head. "They have a very unrealistic idea of skinny in California but nonetheless it's great to have you back. I'm going to have you be doing desk duty for today to ease you back in."

"I was expecting you'd say something like that," Olivia laughed as she stuck her feet out.

"You know me all too well," Cragen laughed.

Olivia smiled and walked out of the office to find no one in the squad room just yet. She smiled as she settled into her desk to find nothing was moved or touched. As Olivia turned on her computer her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was a text message from Elliot.

**Hey babe, I was wondering should I act surprised when I see you or like I've known you were back?**

Olivia read the text message over again and thought. She hadn't given it any thought as to how Elliot would react since she was so caught up in how the rest of the squad would react.

**Um, I think it might be best to act surprised, but there's no one here yet but Cragen will probably be watching**

As Olivia sent it she heard heels coming closer to the squad room which stopped just short of Olivia's desk. Olivia looked up to see Casey standing in complete shock holding a coffee that looked like it was about to fall. Olivia got up and took the coffee from the blonde and placed it on her desk. Casey was still staring but her mouth had closed. Olivia laughed and shrugged, "Hi."

Casey broke out in a great, big grin and lunged at the brunette. Casey laughed as she hugged Olivia as hard as she could. "I can't believe you're back."

Olivia laughed and hugged Casey back with as much enthusiasm as the blonde. Casey then let go of Olivia and hit her. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For leaving."

"Well, sorry," Olivia laughed.

Casey looked Olivia over in astonishment, "How much weight did you lose?"

"Um, well I wasn't really keeping track but something like twenty pounds."

Casey's eyes widened, "Twenty pounds? That's crazy."

"It was a part of my cover," Olivia laughed.

Just as Olivia was about to ask Casey about how life was back here, Munch and Fin walked in and, much like Casey, stopped short when they seen Olivia. They both looked her over and Fin walked over to hug her. "Well, well, well, look who decided to come back after all."

Olivia laughed and hugged him, "Yeah, California wasn't easy to enjoy knowing I have all you guys back here."

Munch followed Fin and hugged her as well, "We were about to start placing bets on whether or not you'd come back at all."

Fin hit Munch on the back of the head but laughed, "Yeah, but then we decided that we'd have to leave Elliot out of it and decided that would be too hard."

Olivia smiled, "Where is Elliot? I haven't seen him."

They all shrugged and Munch walked over to his desk and put his feet up, "He pretty much just comes and goes whenever he wants to now. But I bet he won't be doing that once he sees you again."

Fin shook his head, "What he means to say is you look great, Liv. He's just borderline freak."

"Borderline?" Olivia asked, laughing. "I'd say he's already there."

Munch just mumbled under his breath and swivelled around in his chair as the rest of them laughed. They heard footsteps behind them and they all turned. Elliot was standing in the doorway looking as surprised as the others had. Olivia smiled softly, knowing it was all just an act, "Hi."

"Hi," Elliot replied as he gave a quick smile and sat down at his desk.

Everyone was looking at each other trying to figure out what to do or say. Casey finally broke the silence by telling everyone that she had to go talk to Cragen and inviting Olivia for lunch. Olivia accepted as she sat down, opposite Elliot, and smiled to herself. "You look nice, Liv."

Olivia looked up, acting almost surprised to hear him talking to her, "Thanks."

Olivia continued her work and settled into a nice, relaxing routine and smiled each time Elliot's leg brushed against hers under the desk. She smiled to herself, happy to finally be back.

**A/N: Review! Review! Review!**


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